Entering another’s story

At the height of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, I had the opportunity to escort a number of celebrities, “suits” (politicians) and “stars” (generals/admirals) when they visited the wounded, ill and injured soldiers in the Army hospital where I was the chief medical officer. On one such occasion I had the privilege of accompanying the late Senator John McCain on a visit to present a purple heart medal.

He came out of the car with a gruff, all-business demeanor that continued as we walked to the conference room and I briefed him on the soldier and his family. His face transformed into a warm smile as he walked into the room.

The family was from a small town in the south.
“Isn’t there a famous BBQ place there?” the senator asked, and mentioned the restaurant by name.
The family was dumbfounded.
“How did you know that?” they asked him.
“Remember the campaign for president,” he replied with a grin. “I ate a lot of BBQ.”
He instantly connected with the soldier and his family as he entered into their story.

The American poet Muriel Rukeyser wrote, “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.” The older I get the more I find myself enamored with my own story and its associated yarns, (my wife knows them all by heart), and the more my autobiography seems to become my most oft referenced book. I am as facile with the first person singular as anyone. It is something I am very aware of and so am sensitive to it when I notice it in others.

It is also something I have watched successful, respected leaders intentionally avoid. I have come to the conclusion that they are able to do it by actively engaging and entering into others’ stories. In practical terms it means being present, paying attention and being intentional. It is often driven by the art of the second question:

“How are things going?” you ask a subordinate on executive rounds.
“Fine.”
“What do you mean by ‘fine?’”

Rather than using another’s comment as an excuse to open the pages of my autobiography and drag another unwilling victim into its pages and personal lessons, through careful, thoughtful, open-ended questions, eye contact and engaged body language (leaning forward, mirroring their facial expressions with my own) I am invited into their narrative and become a part of their story.

It doesn’t take much. More than thirty years ago, I remember running into a senior nurse who was visiting the hospital where I worked. I had met her only once previously a few years earlier when I was still in training . She remembered our meeting and in fact greeted me by name. With just a brief encounter in a hospital hallway she became part of my life’s story; a model of the kind of leader I hoped to become.

At home with my wife and children, this should mean the practice of “Your day goes first” when we gather after work and school. My mother was so good at this when I was a boy that I grew up thinking that my story, my day was more important than anyone’s. It has been a hard habit to break. When I was a college freshman, I distinctly remember a mentor requesting of me after several of our one-on-one meetings, “Why don’t you ask me how I’m doing; how my week has been?”

I am aware that I have been woefully inadequate at this practice. A decade ago, at yet another dinner where I was talking about the particulars of my 40-mile, 60-minute commute, one of my teenage daughters said without looking up from her meal, “You know Dad, no one really cares about this.”

The story goes that Winston Churchill’s mother Lady Jennie Jerome Churchill dined in the same week with two of the greatest leaders in England at the time, Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone. A journalist asked her impression of the two men and she replied, “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

Apparently, Disraeli wanted to learn all he could about Lady Churchill; he asked her a series of questions and avoided my own tendency to relate everything back to my own story. It is a practice that can be learned – with attention and intention.

I walked Senator McCain back to his car after he made his purple heart presentation. As we reached the curb, I told him that I had recently read his book, “Character is Destiny.”
“Really?” He looked up and made eye contact.
I told him that my favorite chapter was his story from a Christmas morning when he was a prisoner of war at the Hua Lo prison in Hanoi.
“Christmas at Hua Lo…” his voice trailed off and he looked past me; briefly focused elsewhere. I continued to look into his eyes. He glanced at me again, smiled, turned a moment later and climbed into his car.

I remember standing for a few seconds after he drove away savoring the privilege of having shared the story of one of America’s greatest heroes with him, even briefly.

Then as now I was reminded that the privilege of entering another’s story requires the willingness to leave my own. It is an honor even for a moment, and over time I have become convinced that,“Life is measured in moments like these” (Maggie Stiefvater).

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front   https://henryv43.com/

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When “a lot” can be “too much.”

“Do not reap to the very edges of your field…” (Leviticus 23:22)

I came across this Old Testament reference during an early stint in hospital leadership a decade or so ago. Then as now I occasionally vexed my wife by splitting hairs around the subtle difference between saying “It’s too much” when considering the weight of family, work and calendar stress and saying “It’s a lot.” One makes the challenges sound insurmountable, while the other leaves the possibility that we could still squeeze a few more things into the schedule. (Hence the vexation.)

My reflex is to go with “It’s a lot” rather than “it’s too much,” but there is no question that there are “too much” times in life; times when we need to take a tactical pause and figure out what needs to change.

Thirty years ago I hiked the Grand Canyon wearing boots that were too small (very painful on a continual downhill slope). After about twelve hours I reached the point along Bright Angel Creek that I told my friend I couldn’t go another step. It was a first for me. The first time in memory where I had reached a limit to what I was physically and mentally able to do. We camped just off the trail that night before heading back the next morning. Staring up at the stars on that cloudless night I thought a lot about margins and edges.

At the time, I was leaving general pediatrics, relocating my family across the country, entering into a fellowship in pediatric pulmonology, and I had already started plans to simultaneously get a masters degree in health administration from Temple University.

That night I resolved that it would all probably be too much. And the next day on the trail when we struck up a conversation with other hikers who just happened to be students in Temple’s MHA program, I bit my tongue and didn’t tell them that I’d soon be joining them. (Some things you just can’t make up.) I let the idea go. It was a fortunate decision. The fellowship was more rigorous than I had imagined, my father declined rapidly and died from cancer in that three year window, and we had the surprise birth of our first set of twins. I am thankful for the persuasive influence of those too-small boots.

The passage in Leviticus further explains why the corners of one’s field should be left unharvested: “Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you.” The harvest and gleanings at the edges of the field were for the needy in Biblical times. And they represent a primary reason for leaving margins in our own lives as leaders. We cannot always anticipate who will need us; when we will need to be present and available for others particularly for family members who often have the most difficult time “getting on our schedules.” Early in parenting I abandoned the idea of thinking that I could schedule quality time with our kids. Instead I learned that we need to just “Be there,” echoing lion-tamer Gunther Gabel-Williams advice to his son about climbing into a lion cage. I wish I had been there more.

We also need to leave a little at the edge for ourselves. Like the too-small boots in the Grand Canyon episode, there will be times when “a lot” becomes “too much,” the schedule becomes too tight and we will need to recover. Better to have those times of rest, hobby or relaxation anticipated and scheduled than to have to cancel or shuffle other things to find the time to squeeze them in.

The margins are for others and for self.
They won’t be available to either if we reap to the edge of our field.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front   https://henryv43.com/

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Rethinking the public’s health: The case for a Public Health Service enlisted corps

The U.S. Public Health Service (PHS) was established more than 200 years ago to support national efforts to assure the health of the American population. Before the advent of the antibiotic era in the first half of the last century, health was largely defined as the control of infectious diseases and accident prevention. Public health policy comprised efforts to confine contagion, prevent epidemics and promote practices that improved public safety.

The availability of antibiotics and widespread vaccination campaigns of the last century diminished the potential of infectious diseases to shorten life expectancy. Since then, Americans have lived longer. And with longer lives we are more likely to suffer the long-term consequences of increasingly common chronic diseases such as hypertension, heart disease, cancer and diabetes. Our Western diet, use of tobacco, and exposure to environmental insults that have resulted from industrialization have increased the prevalence and deleterious impact of these diseases.

In recent years American healthcare providers are awakening to the idea that health is more than the absence of disease. Dr. Lester Breslow was one of the most influential proponents of public health in the United States over the past century. In his nearly 70-year career, he described the evolution of the public health from merely disease and accident prevention to the idea of active health promotion. A career researcher, he demonstrated the importance of simple practices such as getting adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition, moderating alcohol consumption and maintaining weight within recommended parameters to reduce the impact of chronic disease, increase longevity, and improve overall health.

However, there is a tension between the lifestyle health benefits championed by Breslow and the factors that prevent large sectors of our nation from realizing them. We increasingly recognize the potential adverse effect social determinants have on individual and population health in our communities—factors that include income below the poverty level, inadequate housing, lack of education, low literacy, unavailable transportation, and dangerous environmental conditions. Much work remains to be done. But there are too few to do the work. Continue reading

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The ED, The City, and the Job To Be Done

Despite all of our efforts over the past decades to build medical homes for our patients and families and to connect them to their new homes, people still choose emergency rooms (ERs) for ambulatory care.

As an example, in a study utilizing the National Hospital Ambulatory Medical Care Survey (NHAMCS) and the National Hospital Discharge Survey (NHDS) to assess hospital-associated healthcare between 1996 and 2010 in the US, the number of ER visits increased by 44%, resulting in an average 48% of contacts (comparing hospital outpatient departments, emergency departments, and ambulatory surgery sites).

In this study the rise was significantly greater in African-American populations, Medicare and Medicaid recipients and in women, emphasizing the important use of ERs by traditionally vulnerable, urban populations (Marcozzi et al. Intern; Int J Health Serv. 2018;48:267-288). In Baltimore City there were 52 ER visits/1000 patients per month and 28/1000/month in the State of Maryland as a whole in 2018 (CRISP). Earlier studies using the ecology of health care model suggested a generalized rate of 13/1000 ER visits per month for the US population (Green et al. NEJM 2001;344:2021-2025). It seems that people are choosing ERs more often. Continue reading

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Fifth Anniversary

The grand essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.  Thomas Chalmers

Five years ago today we retired from the Army.

I say “we” because it was a journey for all of us: my wife who as a young girl decided she never wanted to marry a soldier or a doctor, my children who without complaint endured the range of challenges and sometimes the trauma of the moves and military life as well as having a dad who was not around as much as he wishes he could have been, and for our extended family whose children and grandchildren spent more than a decade six time zones away from them. I had to visit three different floral shops to find 30 red roses for my wife that day; one for every year we served together as a family.

We were fortunate right away to be offered a full-time faculty position in pediatrics at the F. Edward Hébert School of Medicine of the Uniformed Services University in Bethesda by my life-long mentor, CAPT (Retired) Ildy Katona. Dr. Katona is a clinician and researcher whom I met as a young resident three decades earlier. We were blessed to be spared the angst of deciding “What’s next?” I treasure my academic appointment in Pediatrics and Military and Emergency Medicine at “American’s Medical School” to this day.

A year after retirement my wife noticed a position listed on an Internet jobs-board at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore where my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter lived. I applied, and six months later started work for the medical center as an executive in population health. I wasn’t exactly sure what population health even was, but sensed that what we had experienced in our integrated military health care system began to approach it. It’s safe to say that the definition continues to evolve as the state and national healthcare landscape changes.

In West Baltimore we have found Chalmer’s grand essentials. This is the steepest professional learning curve I have ever been on. The “something to do” provides lessons in leadership and life (including failure) on an almost daily basis. It is a new role, a new “rank,” new organizational culture and system, a new model of healthcare finance and delivery and a new patient population. My wife would say the same thing about her position as a school social worker.

We love the work. (Well most of the time.) But mostly, we love the people we have met. They have welcomed us into their church, their neighborhood, their community, city and civic organizations. After what seemed like a lifetime of working for and serving with service members, we have found new friends and colleagues. They are our “something to love.”

As I have written here before, working in Sierra Leone in the winter of 2014 was a “red pill moment” for me when Dr. Paul Farmer challenged us to consider that the mortality of Ebola was due at least in part to health care disparity. The uprising in Baltimore after the death of Freddie Gray happened two months after I returned. Our nation’s attention was (too briefly) turned towards the stark examples of health care disparity in both rural and urban America. There are few better examples of this in the United States than our city, where disparity and inequity were engineered by what can only be called racist laws and practices in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.

But we have “something to hope for.” I tell people routinely that we have not been here long enough not to be optimistic. I meet men and women almost weekly who have dedicated their lives to righting these wrongs and advocating for those who have been oppressed and dispossessed. Our medical systems are awakening to the idea that health is more than the absence of disease and that health care includes things we have historically ignored: employment, housing, food security, transportation, education and literacy. I see it in the eyes of the medical students, residents, nurses and other professionals at our medical center and across the city. They get it. There is hope.

My mother taught me as a boy that there was a difference between joy and happiness. She told me that happiness is a transient feeling, but that “Joy is a decision.” Joy is the decision to view the past honestly but without regret, the present with openness and zeal, and the future with hope.

Chalmer’s grand essentials of happiness are really then the grand essentials of joy: something to do, to love and to hope for.

We knew them well in our decades of military service.
We are blessed to have found them again in our new home.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front   https://henryv43.wordpress.com/

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“The Service” & the Social Determinants of Health

In presentations I have made in the past year or two I have had to confess to a relative inexperience and unfamiliarity with the social factors that can adversely affect a population’s health and well-being.

My inexperience is the result of having spent nearly my entire medical and leadership career practicing in the military medical system. Until recently my patients, their parents and families were all active duty or retired military. As a group they had education, jobs, housing and access to healthcare. We know that only about 20% of what makes our patients well or not is a result of health care (despite our inclination to think that those of us in health care are located at the center of the wellness universe). For the remaining eighty percent of what influences health and well-being, our military patients had the benefit of the positive effect of education, jobs and housing. Continue reading

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Diversity: Beyond optics to vision.

It was relatively late in my leadership career when the concept of diversity became something we started talking about. (Or perhaps I just wasn’t paying attention before then.) Mandatory diversity training was directed by the organization I was a part of and I don’t remember thinking much of the information. I don’t think I got it.

A few years later in a CEO role I recall a conversation with a younger, African-American member of our staff who became a mentor to me. She was the first to suggest to me the potential role of implicit bias in our employee evaluation process. At first, I pushed back. But I can remember the feelings as her words sank in and I realized she might be right: about our organization and about me. It was a significant emotional moment. I remember where I was standing in my office.

What she said resonated with a concept I had long believed. It was best summarized in an article I stumbled across about an obscure lung disease early in my pulmonology career: “We see only what we look for; we look for only what we know” (Sosman MC, et al. Am J Roentgenol Radium Ther Nucl Med 1957;77:947-1012). We don’t see what we’re not looking for. I think I was beginning to get it.

As the hospital’s senior leader I noticed that most of the faces around our board table looked just like mine; consistent with about 85% of all hospital executives. Our organization and our patients had a very different demographic and I began specifically looking for leadership candidates who did not look like me in race or gender. I had resolved that it was a matter of bad “optics.” At a minimum, a leadership team that doesn’t reflected the diversity of the organization won’t inspire young leaders from different groups to seek positions of responsibility.

But just settling with optics as the reason for diversity also makes the fundamental mistake of assuming that people who look alike are alike. It assumes that all you need to achieve diversity in leadership is to add people who are different than the majority to make the team look good. But you can have bad optics with a team that looks bad or with a team that merely looks good for the sake of appearance. I realize now that I was missing the point about optics.

It was sometime later, perhaps after working in Africa a few times and then settling into a neighborhood where I am the minority that I feel like I am finally beginning to understand.

The lack of diversity in healthcare leadership is a matter of optics.
But it’s not a matter of looking bad. It’s a matter of seeing badly.

A diverse representation of demographic groups and gender at the executive table brings the ability for the entire leadership group to see the issues of the workforce, the patient population and “customers” more clearly and in ways that would be impossible without the range of perspectives.

Diversity is the lens through which the leadership team can look more deeply into the challenges and experiences of a particular group and community (microscopic) and can look farther into the future in envisioning better ways to address the populations’ challenges (telescopic). Inclusion is the willingness and openness of the team to look through all of the different lenses.

I guess I was right about the optics, but was initially wrong about vision. I am still pretty shortsighted at times and I will never say that I completely “understand” or that I get it. That is a conclusion best drawn by others.

But things are becoming clearer.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front      https://henryv43.wordpress.com/

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Lead from the front or from the back?

A young colleague asked me recently how a leader reconciles the challenge to “lead from the front” with the recognition that much of the most effective leadership happens “from the back” (a lesson I recognized and attempted to articulate relatively late).

My own leadership journey was shaped as a 22 year old infantry officer. I was inspired by the sign over the door of the Ft. Benning infantry school way back when we were still waiting for Ivan in the Fulda Gap: “Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.” The school motto is “Follow Me.” With that as background (and the subtitle of this blog site) this tension between back and front struck me as a topic worth considering and provided the chance to write (after an embarrassingly long silence!) And it made me think of Julius Caesar.

“Omnia uno tempore agenda” (“Everything had to be done at once”) is how in his “Gallic Wars,” Julius Caesar described his response to an attack by the Nervii, the fiercest of the Belgic tribes of Northern Gaul in modern day northern France (57 BCE). The attack came at three different points while part of his army was crossing a river and another part was building camp. Caesar describes in characteristic third person “the stress of the moment:”

“Caesar had everything to do at one moment — the flag to raise, as signal of a general call to arms; the trumpet-call to sound; the troops to recall from entrenching; the men to bring in who had gone somewhat farther afield in search of stuff for the ramp; the line to form; the troops to harangue; the signal to give. A great part of these duties was prevented by the shortness of the time and the advance of the enemy…” (II.20).

Caesar details a time of crisis. There was tremendous risk of failure and destruction to his army and to his mission. He describes the chaos that is characteristic of the heat of battle. And he describes “the shortness of time” or “chronos” (“time” in ancient Greek).

At one point in the battle, his Twelfth Legion was in trouble, fighting too closely bunched together, and without many of their small unit leaders (centurions) who had been lost to wounds. Caesar describes his own response to the crisis, chaos and the time-pressure of “chronos:”

“He perceived that his men were hard pressed … he likewise perceived that the rest were slackening their efforts … having therefore snatched a shield from one of the soldiers in the rear (for he himself had come without a shield), he advanced to the front of the line, and addressing the centurions by name, and encouraging the rest of the soldiers, he ordered them to carry forward the standards and extend the companies, that they might the more easily use their swords…” (II.25)

This was a time for the leader to lead from the front. Caesar demonstrated character and courage by personally assuming the risk of failure and death. He demonstrated leader competence by recognizing that his troops were leaderless and faltering: “He perceived that all the centurions of the fourth cohort were slain, and the standard- bearer killed, the standard itself lost… He likewise perceived that the rest were slackening their efforts, and that some, deserted by those in the rear, were retiring from the battle and avoiding the weapons” (II.25).

Caesar recognized the context of the fight with the loss of the leaders, also seeing that they were crowded together in the forest, and “That the affair was at a crisis, and that there was not any reserve which could be brought up” (II.25). And he recognized the critical importance of communication. He called to his centurions “by name;” relying on efforts he had made to know his men personally prior to the battle (having perhaps abandoned the too convenient excuse, “I’m sorry I’m just not good with names”). He called out and encouraged the rest of the soldiers. He knew exactly what they needed to hear.

Crisis, chaos and “chronos” are three occasions when a leader should lead from the front.

Caesar also identified at least two occasions when it is appropriate even in the midst of urgency to lead from the back.

“The stress of the moment was relieved by two things: the knowledge and experience of the troops — for their training in previous battles enabled them to appoint for themselves what was proper to be done as readily as others could have shown them — and the fact that Caesar had forbidden the several lieutenant-generals to leave the entrenching and their proper legions until the camp was fortified. These generals, seeing the nearness and the speed of the enemy, waited no more for a command from Caesar, but took on their own account what steps seemed to them proper” (II.20).

The Roman legions were well trained and well led by commanders that Caesar trusted; who applied their own initiative and creativity to the situation and did “on their own account what steps to them seemed proper.” Even in crisis and chaos, leaders need to lead from the back when they know that their organizations are well trained and that they are led by men and women whom they trust. The temptation to micromanage a project or its architect and to take credit for its success are ways that a leader can move “to the front” when it would be best for him or her to step back and let the group or emerging leader shine.

The use of Caesar’s writing about his imperial exploits is not meant to justify the geo-political drive to conquest any more than it would be to use the example of corporate raids or take-overs motivated by greed. But leaders with any experience know that it only takes a single organizational misstep and social media post or market fluctuation to suddenly create a time-pressed, chaotic, crisis.

It is nice to be able to write your own history. (Is this account the ancient equivalent of a modern-day CEO memoir?) Caesar concludes with what we would hope to realize from our own leadership efforts: “On his arrival, as hope was brought to the soldiers and their courage restored, while everyone for his own part, in the sight of his general, desired to exert his utmost energy, the impetuosity of the enemy was a little checked” (II.25).

The enemy’s impetuosity was “A little checked;” at least for a day.

Tomorrow will be another opportunity to find the balance between leading from the front and from the back.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front https://henryv43.wordpress.com/

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Play like you have nothing to lose.

“How many of you have ever worked for a bad leader?”
(Every time I ask the question almost everyone raises a hand.)

“What made him or her a bad leader?” I usually ask. You hear a number of different responses. Occasionally someone will talk about a truly toxic leader. But most of the time the common answer is more like this:
“They only cared about themselves.”

“And how long did it take you to figure that out?”
“About five minutes,” I have heard more than once.

I wondered today whether the common problem with these self-concerned leaders is the inability to play like they had nothing to lose.

Frankly, as leaders we always have something to lose. When we make the hard call, stand by our people, serve as “poop-umbrellas” absorbing or deflecting the “stuff” that sometimes rains from on high we run the risk of everything from taking heat to losing our job or reputation. Which brings me to the events of the past couple weeks.

I confess I have had to resist joining the throngs who have written about the recent Eagles Super Bowl victory, especially as a fan for almost half a century; onephiladelphia_eagles_logo_4008 who remembers clearly the many “almost made its” and “there’s always next years” that have become the stock jargon of Philly fans. But indulge me as I can’t help but think that there is a leadership lesson in their victory this year.

Who goes for it on fourth and goal from the one yard-line just before the half with a trick play that they’ve never run before; throwing to a guy who hasn’t caught a pass in a game since high school? What coach listens to the players on the field and takes a gamble that if it had failed and they ultimately lost the game would have been the play every pundit would point to as the moment of supreme mistake, ultimate error, the deadly “momentum changer” that doomed the game to defeat.

But even after watching and re-watching the clip and listening to the recorded dialogue, I don’t get any sense that there was a fear of taking heat, losing job or reputation as the decision was made.

They seemed to be playing as though they had nothing to lose.

It’s easy to understand why a leader might do otherwise. A politician works hard to get elected and becomes motivated to remain in office. A healthcare administrator works her whole life to become a hospital CEO. An officer begins the journey to general as an ROTC cadet. A teacher gets his masters then doctorate with the hope to one day become a principal and then the day finally comes. The next in line for corporate CEO is competing with scores of others. A coach or player is finally in the Super Bowl…

I wonder sometimes whether the fear we take counsel of is ultimately the fear of loss to self. And whether we can too quickly allow that fear to keep us from taking the risks we must to achieve organizational success. Certainly, there is much at stake. But Teddy Roosevelt has advice for every leader who is willing to get into the arena:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” (April 23, 1910)

This week the credit belongs to a team of leaders who played as though they had nothing to lose and won.

Next week the same opportunity may be ours.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front      https://henryv43.wordpress.com/

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On Having Knight Vision

The Holy Grail seems at times a more reasonable quest.

The standard for behavior and rhetoric has become intolerance and abuse. New allegations of harassment and assault are so numbingly common in the continuous news cycle that we can’t remember which actor, which athlete, which politician provided the last denial or tears of reptilian remorse. No one is entitled to their own opinion nor do we “agree to disagree” (whatever that meant anyway). People who see things differently are “idiots” treated with a level of disdain we used to reserve to trot out seasonally for the fans of rival sports teams.

“A man never hurts a woman” my mother scolded after I beaned my big sister in the head with a stone thrown carelessly over my shoulder in her direction. “Walk her to the door!” my dad hissed as I sat passively in the back seat of the station wagon while my date made her way up the sidewalk after a ride home from a high school band party. Offer your seat. Hold the door. Don’t be unkind. Offer it up. Think of others. Do your best.

It seems like a vision from a different world.
But perhaps these days it’s a world worth remembering; one worth fighting for again.

My mother gave me the gift of knight vision.
Not the ability to see in the dark but the desire to push against it. Continue reading

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