On being the Ted Lasso of anything

At a conference recently, several of my colleagues referred to me as “the Ted Lasso” of our institutional discipline. I was taken back at first as I wondered which features of this popular television character they thought I brought to mind (beyond perhaps my slightly too generous mustache). But the more I have thought about what I know was intended as a supreme compliment, the more I have come to embrace it. It is both honorable and at the same time aspirational.

Here I have to add something of a disclaimer. There was a pretty long time between when I watched the first Ted Lasso episode and when – following someone’s recommendation – I give the series another try. I thought the premise was another example of the ridiculous situations that characterize television sitcoms: an American football coach called upon to coach a British football (“soccer”) team with zero knowledge of the game who at the same time appears as the stereotypical caricature of a “good-old-boy” American. And frankly, there have been other moments watching that I have taken a pause on the series because some of the themes and language were a bit too much for my relatively conservative background. We eventually watched all three seasons and some episodes more than once. (The dart game may rank among my favorite of any television scene I have ever watched, S1E8.)

Still as I consider what Ted Lasso represents – especially through the filter of analyses like the Steve Cuss Podcasts and his approach to systems theory (Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs) – I embrace the metaphoric compliment and in specific have contemplated several aspects of the Ted Lasso character that I hope my colleagues intended in likening me to him. (These are grouped in an outline from Paul of Tarsus in a letter from prison to his “team” in Philippi).

Encouragement: Ted is an unwavering in his encouragement to those around him. He can provide realistic, rational direct feedback to those whom he thinks are not performing to their level. But he begins with the intent that it is not his priority to elevate himself by being critical or condescending to others.

Consolation in love. The Richmond football coach demonstrates a sensitivity to Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” in his interactions with the members of his team, with the team’s administrative staff, and even individuals he has gotten to know in his community who continue to refer to him with insulting terms that he explains away as a private joke between them. His demonstrations of love are not mere words but something real and active.

Fellowship. Western culture has become decidedly individualistic, and Ted seems to recognize that one of the elevating things that he can do for the members of the team is teach them the social benefits of collectivism. This theme comes through on the field and off, demonstrated perhaps best in the shared Christmas dinner held at the Director of Football Higgin’s home (S2E4 “Carol of the Bells”).

Affection. Lasso seems to feel genuine affection for everyone he encounters even those who seem to be plotting his destruction as a matter of course: the press, opposing managers, a hostile and insulting former team owner. He comes across as someone who genuinely likes people as a matter of choice not just emotional happenstance.

Compassion. When the show’s initial primary antagonist finally gets to the point that she has to admit to Ted that he has been brought to England as football manager under false pretenses, you get the sense that Ted already knew it (S1E9, “All Apologies”). His kind concerns for this character‘s welfare in this and previous episodes demonstrates his steadfast investment in her well-being despite her manipulative efforts to use him to extract vengeance on her ex-husband.

Someone asked me to say the blessing over a meal recently. When I am asked that and don’t know the faith perspective of all involved, I will often call attention to the blessing of having the means including food for us to realize a closer vision of our created intent. With this Ted Lasso compliment in the forefront of my mind, I found myself inadvertently quoting Ted Lasso in the prayer, thankful for the means for us to become the “best versions” of ourselves.

Coach Lasso also has a very clear vision for the team that could easily serve as a metaphor for any group we have the occasion to lead or be a part of (in the ideal leadership situation, the best leaders often practice followership at times by stepping aside to allow others to share leadership and decision making roles for which they are better qualified). The Richmond football club under Ted’s leadership exemplifies some of these characteristics.

Being of the same mind. Professionals in any discipline come at their profession with a range of motivations. It was certainly true of Richmond’s footballers: personal glory (driven as we find out in one case by an abusive parent), making political statements, holding onto a fading career. Ted’s vision of the team members as mutually supportive colleagues focused on caring for each other (and winning soccer matches together) rather than being competitors or even worse develops over the three seasons and comes to exemplify the team regardless of the outcome on the football pitch.

Maintaining the same love. Ted doesn’t seem to need to tell the players and staff that he loves them. Love is not sentimentality to the coach but a continual solid demonstration of faithful commitment in big ways and small (e.g. a plastic toy soldier in an envelope with a note of encouragement to the former Richmond player now on an opposing team whose last minute pass to another player ended up in Richmond‘s defeat, S1E10 “The Hope that Kills You”). It comes to characterize the way the team members relate to one another.

United in spirit. Lasso is building a family. The team members don’t recognize it at first, but in time this becomes the way they see and treat one another. Winning matters. Success matters. But there are other measures of success that breed these outcomes. And most sports pundits would agree that the attitude and outlook of the locker room is one of them.

Intent on the same purpose. Ted’s agenda is revealed in the very first press conference when he communicates his hope to help these young men to become their best versions of themselves. In time the team members realize that for each other: the success of the team is the success of the individual members, or perhaps as Rudyard Kipling wrote, “…the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.”

This summer marked a significant “speed limit” birthday for me. In this paradigm, the years that align with highway speed limit signs remind us that at certain times in life it makes particular sense to check our speed, slow down if necessary, make sure we’re heading the right direction and take stock of the remaining distance left to travel.

As one who is still riding my bike every day and thoroughly enjoying Disney movies, being “halfway through the seventh decade” is hard to see in print let alone consider as applying to myself. Until recently I would have told you that my sincere hope was to be like Fred Rogers when I finally grow up. And I think there is still some truth in that.

But the thought of what Ted Lasso represents as someone who is real, human, flawed, and humble –  a decidedly other-focused leader known for encouragement, affection, compassion, and love who gets results while building character – leads me to embrace this compliment from my colleagues with enthusiasm.

The world needs more Ted Lassoes.
This fictional football manager demonstrates facets of a leadership vision that may not be new, but is more needed than ever.

Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front   https://henryv43.com/