Recently my wife traveled with a team to an orphanage in China to meet some of the children and to help to build relationships. One of the things I was reminded of when she was gone was how well she listens. And I realized that after nearly four decades of marriage and dating, my ability to make sense of the events of my life has become inexorably interwoven with her intentional and “attentional” listening to me. So I missed her. But it caused me on several long, quiet drives to think again about listening and the verb “to hear.”
“To parse” is to analyze, or to examine closely. In closely examining my own ability to hear I know that I have been influenced by those from whom I have learned to listen. But in leadership there is a point beyond listening that I have too often neglected. There are four aspects in parsing the verb “to hear” as it pertains to our relationships with others.
Ignore. “Wait, what?” This is our most basic response to hearing. We don’t. In a world full of distractions we walk down the halls of our institutions with Blackberry or smart phone in hand, checking a few text messages while we’re on the elevator or scanning emails while we sit through board-room briefings. So when we should hear and listen we miss the opportunity because we are not present. “Be there” lion-tamer Gunther Gabel-Williams advised his son as he took over the family business and stepped into the lion cage. Continue reading
Henry V 4.3 