We have been talking about this for a decade now, at least since Colonel George Reed published his paper on toxic leadership in Military Review, an article that has fueled innumerable leadership journal clubs in and out of the military. It happens that in the ensuing years the military has been embroiled in a series of increasingly unpopular wars that have asked much of leaders at every level. It is very likely as General Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs said, that our system has favored “competence over character.” The need for short term results (within the two years or less of a short command tour) instead of an investment in the long term – including leader development – may be an unanticipated consequence. Regardless, senior military leaders are increasingly characterized in the press as toxic and displaying poor moral judgment.
Toxins are poisons. Toxic leaders poison those around them, particularly subordinates. One colleague of mine characterized a toxic leader he knew as an “equal opportunity yeller” who “used to spit and slobber” as he yelled at you. This is not a new trend. Fifteen years ago in his monograph on generational challenges in the officer corps, Dr. Leonard Wong referred to a common theme among young leaders, “They have lost faith with the senior leadership of the Army. They believe they [senior leaders] are either out of touch with reality or liars. We’re losing a generation of good leaders.” That was before 9/11.
An antidote is a substance which can counteract poisoning. The term derives from the Greek αντιδιδοναι (“antididonai,” “given against.”) The Good Book teaches “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much” (Luke 16:10). Phillips Brooks, a nineteenth century American clergyman said, “Character is made in the small moments of our lives.”
We learn to be faithful in big things through the discipline of small character building moments where we act with insight into our own motives and feelings and those of others. We ask, “What does it feel like to be them?” before we rail against, berate or speak ill of them to others. In short we learn to act as gentlemen (and ladies) and demonstrate behavior that General Robert E Lee would consider appropriate for those in authority: “The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.”
The same rules of character affect moral behavior. The roots of our American military officer tradition reach back more than two centuries to an Army which historian Geoffrey Perret says General George Washington created in his image; where “vice and immorality of every kind was discouraged.” (A Country Made by War, Random House 1989). Washington’s army was characterized by industry, gentility, health, and personal devotion. It was a monumental contrast to existing eighteenth century armies where “drunkenness and ruinous gambling, the flaunting of mistresses and bejeweled orders were as much the accouterments of the officer class as old titles and bad debts.” Perret goes on to say, “The sobriety, modesty and interest in character and morals that Washington’s army brought to warfare helped to create the American military tradition and augured a new style” (p.45).
One morning while I was escorting General Dempsey through our organization my college age daughter ran into us, walked up to me and embraced me oblivious to the rank and entourage I was accompanying. General Dempsey patiently engaged her about her upcoming trip to Africa and her college experience then talked to me about my family as we walked away. I have not seen him since, but I will never forget the way he treated my daughter and the interruption to his very busy schedule: as a gentleman.
Character is made in small moments. Being an officer and a gentleman is a series of choices resulting from the most powerful leadership decision that we can ever make: the decision to be the man or woman that we hope that our subordinates will become.
There is no more potent antidote.
Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front https://henryv43.wordpress.com/
Henry V 4.3 
Reblogged this on randomthoughtsbyrob and commented:
Good post about what we as Army officers should strive to be. Gentlemen who leave a positive lasting influence on those we work with and come into contact with. People won’t remember every word you say, but they will remember the way you treated them and made them feel.
Chuck – an important post. I recently became employed by the FranklinCovey company – most famous for “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” What attracted me to them was the foundation of principles in all of their works – things that matched what we learned in the Army’s best lessons. However, as I am required now to “master” Covey material and become more learned, I am more aware of my own past and current shortcomings as a leader. My point and offered lesson is that we must continually study, model, get feedback, and repeat character and principle-based behaviors. The more pressure we face (such as the war, budgets, etc) the more we need to lean on and seek grounding in good character and principle to see us through. Thank you for leading in this conversation….