For though ye have ten thousand tutors (paidagōgos) … ye have not many fathers…”
Letter from Paul to the Church at Corinth (1 Corinthians 4:15)
The business of becoming a grandfather over the past few months has given me pause. First I have to get over the sense that am far too young. I think of grandfathers as old. I couldn’t possibly be at that point…
Assuming that it is possible (and that seems to be the case) and acknowledging that age is at least in part a way of thinking, one characteristic of being more senior is that you are also more circumspect. While I blundered into parenthood three decades ago without a whole lot of thought or worry that I might not get it right (“How hard can it be?”) this major life change comes with a bit more thought; perhaps even angst.
My wife made an observation recently that I have found myself contemplating: maybe this business of being a grandfather is more about being a mentor than a coach. And maybe that means that it will take more of my right brain.
The right hemisphere of the brain is good at visualization, at connectedness, at drawing conclusions and getting the big picture. The left brain is a list maker, a scheduler, a planner. The left brain makes decisions based on logic and is better at dissecting out and analyzing the elements of an action; it is linear and processes information from the part to the whole, takes pieces, lines them up in order and then draws conclusions. The right brain is holistic and processes information from the whole to the individual parts; it starts with the big picture and not the details.
Simplistically then, mentoring comes from the brain’s right hemisphere, and coaching from the left brain. Perhaps the grandfather’s role is to mentor. My business is no longer instructing which fork to use at the table, or washing of hands after using the potty, or getting the Lego put away before bed. The grandfather could be the big-picture guy: “Grandson, granddaughter (and I now have both) here is what your life could be…”
In polite Greek and Roman society no young man would venture out into public without his tutor. The “paidagōgos” was a trusted slave who was charged with the duty of supervising the boys’ life and morals. They served as both social coaches and spies until the boy reached independent manhood. It was largely a left brain, coaching exercise: “Hey! Do this! Stop that!”
So if the grandfather serves primarily as mentor, and the tutor as the coach, a father must do both. Through actions and example (“facta non verba” – deeds not words) the father demonstrates right and wrong behaviors and provides instruction while at the same time giving the son or daughter a bigger perspective on life. It is a challenging role: “Ye have not many fathers…”
Leadership requires both, too. The effective leader has to be able to manage people from the part to the whole, take pieces, line them up in order and help others to draw conclusions. It means being able to dissect out what’s missing, help them determine the risk of various process steps and then guide them to execute. At the same time, the effective leader also has to be able to provide big-picture guidance. Probably the most positive thing that the leader can do for employees at every level is to help them to clearly determine their career trajectory and assist them in getting there.
In practical terms, the imperatives of organizational execution can too easily overshadow the time-consuming but critical task of working with individual subordinates’ career (and organizational) “elucidation.” But both execution and elucidation are essential to the success of the organization’s long term mission. And both are the leader’s charge.
So let’s make sure we pay attention to good rest, exercise and nutrition.
Leadership is going to take our whole brains.
Chuck Callahan Henry V 4.3 – Lead from the Front https://henryv43.wordpress.com/
Henry V 4.3 